FAVORITE PERSONAL AD OF THE DAY:

This ad has NOTHING in it! You will get NOTHING from me! - 2

Hah! I refuse to tell any of you out there anything about me.

You get nothing. Nada. Zilch. This is an empty ad you have clicked on and my 28 year old mind is laughing at you for---wait---crap! now you know how old I am!!! Damnit! I didn't want you to know that!

That's okay. You can't recognize me on the street by my age. My dark blonde hair may--CRAP! Ok. Ok. You now know I have dark blonde hair am 28 and have green eyes---NO WAITAMINNIT!! I didn't say anything about my green eyes when I mentioned blonde hair. Double CRAP!!!

Okay. You still wouldn't be able to recognize me in a crowd unless it was a crowd of people no taller than 5'9" and no shorter than 5'11". See, I've kept my exact height a well hidden fact from you.

There is also no way to tell if I'm lying when I mention I love zoos, museums, greasy spoon diners, early morning walks on the lake---on COME ON! You just do not play fair. I don't know what mental powers you keep using to pry out my favorite writers such as Alan Moore and---HEY!!!

Okay, I'm going to keep my fingers occupied with scooping out some delicious ice cream and drinking some coffee..crud....

Well if you really want nothing you'll just have to write me and see how good I may or may not keep my secrets--such as the fact I like graphic novels, movies of most kinds and...OKAY YES--THE MYSTERY IS GONE!!! AGGHHHH!!!

Creativity counts.
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FAVORITE MISSED CONNECTION OF THE DAY:

Filthy Dirt - m4w

Obviously, as a man, I know little about make-up -- its application, its many uses. But one thing I'm quite clear on is that make-up is a purchased product, not something scrounged from one's front yard.

Enough with the dirt eye-liner. We are an EEOC company, and we don't want to let anyone go over their appearance, but you're frightening our customers.

Either the filth goes, or you do.

Awww... can't you just feel the love? Hey, isn't this a Rant?