FAVORITE PERSONAL AD OF THE DAY:

The Greatest Headline Ever!


Why does love have to be so hard? Why do women who are five feet three say they want a guy who's at least six feet tall and then call themselves "the girl next door"? The girl that lived next door to me was a sweet, down to earth girl who any guy could talk to. Then again, she looked like the old lady in the movie "Throw Momma from the Train". Maybe that's it. Maybe we are all so preoccupied with looks and money and what our friends think that we are not capable of love. I've dated some women who would qualify as gorillas if they had less hair, but they were genuine. I've also dated women who were so phony I'm surprised they recognized themselves when they looked in the mirror. Think about your idea of a perfect boyfriend. Now think about your chances of ever finding that person. If you do, do you think they'll be attracted to you? Is love about settling? It's taken me a while to realize that if I find a woman I can stand and she can stand me then I'm lucky. "Mike you're too short, Mike you're too neurotic, Mike you're too sexy", I've heard it all. Well, all but that last one. I am at the point now where if I can find a woman who can tie her shoes I'll drag her to the chapel. Forget love, forget happiness. If you want to be happy, try to be unhappy because whatever you do you can't win. Unless maybe you try to lose. (I need to try that). So spend five minutes talking to someone who is attracted to you, but whom you find pretty repulsive (physically or mentally). After five minutes you'll either learn something about yourself or you'll just want to kill them. Either way, you can't lose. Unless you try to lose.

Mike - you are definitely too sexy. That's a sexy, sexy ad. I ALMOST want to answer it.
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FAVORITE MISSED CONNECTION OF THE DAY:

GOOD PARTY, BAD PLUMBING w4m


You threw a birthday party on 9/20 in Lincoln Park. My girlfriends and I were walking by and decided to crash it but stayed cuz you and your friends were so darn cute.I was the short blond with the pink sweater, we were already overserved and you helped us over the edge. On our way out I had a bathroom emergency, "gambled and lost" on my way to your loo, but the real loser was your plumbing. I backed your toilet up somethin feirce, past the point of overflow and snuck out before anyone saw me. I'm really sorry, I still think you're cute and hope I might still have a chance? When: Wed Sept 20th 2006 Where:House party somewhere in Lincoln Park. You:man Me:woman
EW gross.