FAVORITE PERSONAL AD OF THE DAY:

Men Seeking Women:

Searching for Ms. Smartypants... - 30

I am looking for a woman who is quite different from the common prefabricated woman that is seen so frequently around Chicago with her Prada bag talking on her cell phone while she is driving her SUV. This repetitive scene has completely turned me off to many of the otherwise available women in this city. I am looking for someone refreshing, quirky (not crazy) and comfortable (as opposed to obsessed) with her body/looks. She absolutely must be shockingly intelligent, well spoken and liberal. Most everything else is fine if these bases are covered.

It has gotten to the point where I am considering dating "outside of the box". Preferably an alien of some sort. To be clear, I am not looking for an illegal alien, but simply a humanoid creature from another planet with reproductive organs which are roughly compatible with standard (though somewhat impressive:) human male equipment. She would also need to be attracted to a 6ft1 guy who is built like a linebacker and who is pretty good looking. She may be concerned that I am lying just like toothless Bubba from West Dundee did when he wrote the last post you read =) I don't blame her, but she may need to take a chance.

To repeat, she must be shockingly intelligent so that as we re-populate a corner of the northside with our super-race of alien/humans they will naturally band together to organize politically to eventually turn this country blue again. They would likely resume human services for those who need them, offer the Arab world an olive branch would tend to enjoy camping in the Southwest rather than a trip to the Big Apple. On an individual basis they might even be a mix of artistic and scientific, though one would never look down on upon another who was absent one of these traits. She must also be alright with not jumping into a LTR, but hopefully she would find anonymous sex to be a bit hollow as well. Oh, someone who is still laughing at this point might be a good candidate :)

So, if I piqued your interest, do get back to me, and if not then I wish you good luck and I apologize for wasting two solid minutes of your life on a rather absurd post. P4P – naughty pictures graciously accepted, and entertaining, well-written responses will be savored.

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FAVORITE MISSED CONNECTION OF THE DAY:

Your Ass at Mass.. - w4m

You were in the pew in front of me at Mass. Oh how I tried to focus on the homily; however your tight ass and broad shoulders lured me onto sinful fantasy. I can’t even describe the thoughts that went through my head when it was time for me to kneel…what naughty things I could do on my knees…Then it was time to receive the Eucharist. We marched down the isle together…possibly the romantic foreshadowing of our future, but you left before the final blessing. For some odd reason I felt like yesterday’s trash….id this was you and you would like to get together…I will be at the church Saturday in line for confession and doing my penance.